Eight Lies Men Believe About Pornography 2
Lie #1: Sex is a biological need.
The Truth: A man can desire sex, but he does not require it to be happy and fulfilled; he has no deep and uncontrollable hunger that is inevitably going to drive him to sin.2 (Jesus, fully man, was tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin. It was not a biological need.)
Lie #2: Life is about sex
The Truth: When sex is one blessing among many, a man may greatly desire sex but still live a full and joyful life without it.2
Lie #3: Marriage makes the problem go away.
The Truth: Marriage is not the answer, because lack of sex is not the problem. The problem is lust, and lust is never satisfied.2
Lie #4: It is only a matter of time before I fall.
The Truth: Men can say no to this sin today, or this hour and they will have that same capacity tomorrow or the next hour.2 God says: “I expect more failure from you than you expect from yourself.”1 But He also says “My lovingkindness is fresh and new every morning.”
Lie #5: It’s not really hurting anyone.
The Truth: It hurts the women involved by treating them as if they are merely bodies with no souls. It hurts your real relationships with the actual women in your life, even if you think you are hiding it from them. It hurts you: this sin wages war against a man’s soul and deadens him to the joy of true intimacy.2
Lie #6: Pornography is better than dealing with real women.
The Truth: Pornography is a mockery of relationships, a hallucination with only a passing similarity to real intimacy.2
Lie #7: God will not forgive me.
The Truth: If we weren’t sinners and didn’t need pardon more than bread, we’d have no way of knowing how deep God’s love is. The first step begins with accepting where you are and exposing your poverty, frailty, and emptiness to the love God has for you.1
Lie #8: God has not provided what I really need regarding sex.
The Truth: God is the Good Shepherd who always gives the good things we truly need. When a man can see that he has been accusing God of holding out on him, the gospel of God’s precious gift of grace and forgiveness will lead much more naturally to a refreshing repentance.2
1 The Ragamuffin Gospel, Manning, Brennan (2005). Colorado Springs: Multnomah.
2 Exposing the Lies of Pornography and Counseling the Men Who Believe Them, Groves, J. Alasdair (2013). The Journal of Biblical Counseling 27:1, pgs. 7-25.